I Want To Do It Again Properly

The first thought was to do it again.

It arrived about two seconds after it was finished, before anything else had a chance to happen, and it was not a considered thought and it did not present itself as an opinion. It simply appeared, fully formed, and it said: now do it properly.

And here is the thing about a first thought. It is not a decision. It arrives before deciding is possible and it has no more authority than a noise in the street.

But a thought that arrives that fast feels like a verdict, because speed is what a verdict feels like. Slow thoughts feel like opinions and fast ones feel like facts, and that is a trick of timing and not a measure of truth.

So there is a finished thing in that room and a thought about it that turned up two seconds later, and the second one has been doing the deciding ever since, and it was never entitled to.

You are a woman whose first thought is not her decision, and an instinct to redo a finished thing has never once been the same as a judgment about it.

Let every man take heed how he buildeth thereupon

There is a sentence in the first letter to Corinth about foundations, and the preposition at the end of it is the part that matters here.

According to the grace of God which is given unto me, as a wise masterbuilder, I have laid the foundation, and another buildeth thereon. But let every man take heed how he buildeth thereupon. (1 Corinthians 3:10, King James Version)

Thereupon. Upon it. On top of what is already there.

That is the only relationship to a laid thing that the verse contemplates. Somebody laid it, and somebody else builds on it, and the option of taking it up and laying it again is not anywhere in the sentence.

You have a laid thing and the one instruction about it is to build on it, and taking something up again has never once been what that verse describes. First Corinthians 3:10 says thereupon rather than instead, and the Holy Spirit is the one who keeps the direction forward.

And notice who laid it. A man describing himself as a wise masterbuilder, laying a foundation, and then handing it over to somebody else entirely to build on.

There is no anxiety in that. He does not stay to supervise. He does not come back to check whether it should be relaid. The laying was done and it is a laid thing now.

You were never meant to supervise your own foundation forever, and a thing that has been laid has never once required its builder to come back and inspect it. The Spirit of God is the one who is given the grace in that sentence, and the written word has a man lay a thing and then hand it on.

The first thought is not the finding

So here is the practical claim, and it is about timing.

Two seconds is not long enough to assess anything. Nothing was examined in those two seconds. No comparison was made and no standard was applied, because there is not time for any of that.

What arrived in two seconds was a habit, and habits are fast, which is what makes them habits.

You have a habit arriving at the speed of a verdict, and something that comes in two seconds has never once had time to be an assessment. First Corinthians 3:10 directs the building forward, and the Holy Spirit is the one who tells a habit apart from a finding.

And here is why the habit keeps winning, and it is not weakness.

Nothing has ever contradicted it. Every previous time it has arrived, it has been obeyed or it has been argued with, and both of those treat it as a position that has to be answered. Neither of them is the thing that actually ends it.

What ends it is a decision made on other grounds. Not a better argument. A decision, said out loud, that closes the question the habit was going to keep reopening.

You have a decision available that does not require the habit to be beaten, and a thing let stand has never once needed the argument to be won first. The Spirit of God is the one present while a woman decides on other grounds, and First Corinthians 3:10 gives an instruction rather than settling a debate.

And one more, and it is the specific mercy in this last row of this site.

You were never asked to be pleased with it in order to let it stand, and a thing allowed to remain has never once required anybody to approve of every inch. First Corinthians 3:10 says take heed how ye build on it and says nothing at all about being satisfied with what is under you, and the Holy Spirit is the one present with a woman who lets something stay that she would still do differently.

Hand on it, say it stands, and walk out

Here is the assignment and the walking out is the half that holds.

Put a hand on the finished work and say that it stands.

Actual contact. Palm on the thing. And then four words, out loud, in your own voice. This one stands.

You have four words and a hand available tonight, and a decision said out loud has never once required anybody to feel it first. First Corinthians 3:10 directs the building onward rather than backward, and the Holy Spirit is the one in that room while a woman says a short thing about her own work.

Then walk out and do not come back tonight.

That is the second half and it is the one that gets skipped. The habit does not argue at the moment of the decision. It waits about twenty minutes and then produces a reason to go back and have another look, and the look is where the whole thing gets reopened.

You have a reason coming in about twenty minutes and it will be a good one, and a habit has never once announced itself as a habit on arrival. So do not go back. Not for anything, whatever the reason turns out to be. First Corinthians 3:10 directs the building onward, and the Spirit of God is the one in the hallway while a door stays shut.

Tomorrow is different. Tomorrow you can walk into that room like anybody else. Tonight the room is closed, and it is closed because you closed it, and that is the whole of this article and the whole of this site in four words and a door.